pantagruel

working with bad clients

This morning, I realized that I've been using Photoshop since version 2.5, when it didn't even have layers. 1993's when I first sat down and spent a month of afternoons going through the Classroom in a Book tutorials. It wasn't all that long ago that design was done by hand.

Perhaps it's that 16 years of hard work and experience with clients that makes me laugh until I cry when I watch these videos about working with clients.

Oh, yes. I have heard clients say these things. And yes, I've even managed to be professional. But let's not push our luck.

advertising, arg, art direction, design, work

shiny things

Apparently I'm not the only one who's noticed that coffee roasts and type weights have the same taxonomy. I covet this mug. And I covet this shirt:

A closer view:

Who knew design was so Goth?

This bracelet is the best, though:

Now I can confuse even more people who don't know what Lorem Ipsum or greeked text is!

Damn you, Veer, for coming up with all these things I now medically need to own.

art direction, design, covet, shiny things

The Details That Matter

Kevin Potts wrote a great article, 'The Details That Matter,' over at A List Apart. Here's the beginning:

A long time ago, in a galaxy far away, the graphic arts industry was populated by full-time illustrators, production assistants and compositors. With only composing sticks for laying out type, straight edges for defining grids, a human proofer to catch spelling mistakes and an arsenal of X-acto blades for making edits, these guys lived and breathed detail. Mistakes were costly. It was a trade position that required lengthy apprenticeship; job security depended on getting all of the little things right.

While many of the tactile skills needed for our new generation of PC-based web design and development are radically different, a critical eye for detail is as relevant as ever. In fact, because of the lower cost of entry and increasing commoditization of design, that eye for detail is not only necessary for staying afloat in the profession, but a requirement for success.

The functional details are different than the ones with which our forefathers wrestled. Most of us do not own goggles to prevent spray adhesive from getting in our eyes or loupes to gauge dot gain at a press check. We do, however, have to deal with the endearing idiosyncrasies of browsers; we all run into the same double margin bug and inconsistent JavaScript support. These are quantitative, documented issues. Good website builders like you and I avoid these altogether simply by writing better code. But the details that can kill a project faster than a fly against a windshield are more subversive: the ones that, in hindsight, should have been blindingly obvious.

Potts is spot-on -- it's the small details that can kill a project and ruin your reputation. You wouldn't think that clients have so little tolerance for error, but they do. Clients feel free to send you work rife with typos, poor grammar, and bad code, but you'll be expected to fix their mistakes; and may all the gods help you if you make new ones.

You also wouldn't think that an art director would be bad at details, but I am. I'm an abstract thinker. And when I say 'abstract,' I mean I naturally see patterns all the time, in everything. The big picture; the forest, not the trees. I'm such an abstract thinker that the human resources trainers who've put me through personality tests remark on it. Off the top of my head, I can give you an overview of… say, the Northern Renaissance, in which I cover the political, artistic, literary, philosophical, and religious movements. But if you asked me to tell you when the Hundred Years' War ended, no amount of torture could make my brain give up that date. I want to say sometime in the mid 1400s, but that's as far as I can go.

This has served me well in my career, because I can come up with an entire campaign easily. But it's also meant I have to fight extremely hard to proof my own work. Ye gods, that isn't easy for me. I'd rather jab myself with an X-Acto than proof my own work. And yet, if I didn't manage to do it, I'd be out of work, fast. So if you're also bad at proofing your work, and details elude you, here are some of the things I do to get around it:

• First, if at all possible, I pressgang someone else into proofing it for me. And bribe them if necessary.
• I initial every change a client's made to a proof, as I make it. This gives me a quick way to look back and see what I've done, especially when I get distracted and have to come back to the proof later.
• I turn the proof upside down, and look at it again. This is surprisingly good for catching typos.
• Pray to Titivillus, patron demon of printers. You laugh, but he's been around since monks were painstakingly writing on vellum, and blaming him for their mistakes.

Or, of course, there's always becoming an art director and making your minions do it. I like that one best. Be careful, though -- after enough typos, you'll lose your godlike status, as they see your clay feet.

I'm in love with this layout.

I'm in love with this grid layout system. I think I hear a choir of angels singing. Seriously. This answers so many of my current work problems, that it's literally the answer to my prayers. Granted, my prayers sounded like, 'That &$(ing @^&@! ^!@@$! Why won't you work?!' as I've never been a particularly reverent person. But still, it's good to know that Titivillus, patron demon of the design profession, answers impassioned pleas.

Chip Shop Awards

Nominees for the 2009 Chip Shop Awards are out. Man, I wish I could get away with doing advertising like this -- with a sense of humor. Specifically, British humor. Some of the categories:  

• Best Use of Shocking Copy
• Best Work for any Brand you Haven't a Hope of Winning
• Best Work for a Client You Have but Haven't a Hope of Running
• Best Reject - for ads that have been rejected by clients but you feel should have run
• Best Use of Plagiarism
• Best Work for a Relative or Friend

Some of the nominated ads are dreadful; others brilliantly shocking. I so need to come up with my own. It's refreshing to see that other people are in the same boat of political correctness killing off good ideas. Of course, you have to do what the client wants, but sometimes you get sick of that. That's what these awards are for.

anxiety attacks

You might have noticed I haven't been blogging much this year. And you might even have been curious about why.

A few reasons:

First, the very small measure of Internet fame I have (such as it is) is difficult to adjust to. Some things have happened that made me quite leery of posting much of anything. Not like I was exactly hiding under my desk or anything, but every time I'd think of something to write about, a voice inside my head said, Are you really sure you ought to, given X and Y? and I'd reply: Yeah, probably best not to.

For starters, the Weirdly Persistent Fan seriously creeped me out. While it's great to have fans of my art, I'd prefer that fans of my art, in the future, refrain from mentioning my breasts. Not that I'm a prude; it's just seriously disconcerting when I don't expect it. So let me make this excruciatingly clear:

The only people I want to have conversations about my breasts with are: 1-my ob/gyn; 2-the lovely woman who fits me for my custom bras; and 3-anyone I happen to be naked with. Maybe with 4-my close women friends, if the subject comes up. Notice how 'person masquerading as a potential client' is not in any of those four categories.

Are we all clear on this now?

Good.

I also suspect that my marked increase in Twitter followers is solely because some prominent Twitterers follow me. Seriously, kids, I'm not that interesting and am having problems being witty enough to live up to their standards. Also, you probably ought to read the Fry Standards for Twitter, as well as my Best Internet Acquaintance's post on the subject. [Modify as needed, as I don't have an agent or anywhere near that amount of fame.]

The second reason: work has been hell. People at Saltmine U are incredibly nervous about their jobs. People are being asked to retire, there's talk of layoffs, and generally, people are scared. And scared, stressed people are not at their best. Which generates Drama with a capital D. Wading through all of that each week has been… well, less than fun.

Reason the third: speaking of Drama, a lot's been going on in my personal life, all around me. I've been trying to keep my head up, maintain my integrity, and navigate some seriously treacherous waters. I'll say only this: it's hard to find genuine people in LA, and that gets exponentially harder when in Hollywood. Oy.

The last, and most overwhelming reason: I've been working through some massive anxiety attacks about my writing and art. And my design. And whether or not I'm a good art director and boss. I've always been prone to a fairly normal level of creative anxiety that goes with being an overachiever and perfectionist, but now it's bad. Horribly bad. All-I-can-do-to-pick-up-and-clean-my-brushes bad. In an email this morning, I wrote:

I also worry every single day. I worry that my writing sucks. I worry that my paintings suck. I worry that my designs suck; I worry that I'm a bad art director and bad boss. I worry that I'm not a real artist or a real writer or a real designer, and no matter how much external validation I get, it never stops me worrying for longer than a couple of days. I am so fucking lame that way. The rare times I do mention the awards I've won or the things I've published, or who I've done art for, I immediately feel like a bragging jerk for even bringing them up.

I feel like if I were a real artist, I'd be doing nothing but art. Or if I were a real writer, I'd be doing nothing but writing. Or if I were a real art director, I'd be working for a glamourous ad agency, not [redacted]. While most of my friends are creative people, none of them do more than one creative thing for a living, and it makes me feel really alone in this weird way that I can't quite explain. It's like having all the normal worries about being good at your art, and they can relate to me on that front… but then there's also the worries about not being really good at much of anything because I do a few different kinds of art, and they just don't get that.

Which is true; they don't get it. Instead, I get long, well-intended speeches about how lucky I am to be so talented at more than one thing. Then I feel like I'm just whinging like a spoiled brat about the horrors and strain of being able to do more than one thing, and resolve to never mention it ever again. Not exactly helpful.

I'm managing to still produce what I need to, and meet deadlines, but it's a Herculean effort. Between my anxiety, and being drained from dealing with Drama, and Weirdly Persistent Fan, and talking people at work down off ledges… I'm so exhausted creatively that mustering up the creative wherewithal to write witty posts is beyond me.

Besides, I can barely manage the witty Tweets.

After I wrote that email this morning, though, I realized that those four reasons weren't really enough to let them keep on stopping me, and I should really just get the hell out of my own way…

…and get back to this metric butt-ton of pretty trash I need to make.

Ever wonder how fonts are made?

Over at ilovetypography, there's a lovely article on the design process of a typeface:

Newzald: From Moleskine to Market | i love typography, the typography and fonts blog:

Go check it out, while I chew through a pile of work at the office.

Technorati Tags: design

Happiest Audiobook of Our Lives

Wil Wheaton's latest book, The Happiest Days of Our Lives, is now out as an audiobook. If you've not had the chance to go and hear Wil read his stories live, this is the next best thing. "Blue Light Special" was great on the page, but when Wil read it, he performed it and took it to a new level of awesomeness. I laughed so hard, I had to make my save vs. Accidentally Spitting Beer on Wil's Wife roll (I managed, just, with a 13).

For only $19.72, you, too, can laugh that hard. I highly recommend it if you have an epic commute, because Wil's audiobooks are so good, they even make the 405 in rush hour bearable. A bold statement, I know, but I'm standing behind it.

(Oh, and I might've had something to do with the banners and flyers for the audiobook's media kit, which should be up shortly at the Monolith press site. There seems to be some demand for a CD insert with art, so I'll be doing that as well, if you'd like to have something to go with a burned copy you're giving as a gift. Stay tuned.)

Technorati Tags: books, design, gamer, geek, traffic

Wallpaper choices

My wallpaper samples arrived today from Graham Brown, and they're gorgeous! Each sample could be framed on its own. These are designed by Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen, Design God. The website didn't do them justice at all: they're luminous, even the dark ones catch light, and they're subtly textured. They look and feel sumptuous!

Now I just have to decide which paper would look best in which room... Oh, the agony.

Technorati Tags: design, laurence llewelyn-bowen, design god, wallpaper

chemistry and design

Now where was this when I was in high school?

That's right, a periodic table with photos or representations of each element. I could've memorized it so much more easily, if I'd had this poster. This is fantastic design, right here.

Technorati Tags: design